When friends don't know what to say
On the silences that follow loss, and how to ask for what you need.
One of the loneliest parts of grief is the silence that sometimes surrounds it. People you love grow quiet. Texts go unanswered. The casseroles stop. Not because they have stopped caring, but because they do not know what to say, and they are afraid of saying the wrong thing.
If this is happening to you, you are not imagining it, and it is not your fault. You are allowed to name what you need - even, especially, when it feels awkward to ask.
Try: "You don't have to say anything. Could we just walk together this Saturday?" Or: "It would mean a lot to hear his name out loud sometimes." Or simply: "I'm in a hard week. Could you check in on Thursday?"
Most people are waiting to be invited back in. Your asking is a gift to them, too.
— Janice
